Writing.

I've been writing a lot lately. My goal for the summer is going to be to write two pages in a book everyday. I think it's going to be a very urban slice of life/reflection thing. Probably starring Justin because he's the shit. I updated my writing gallery with a few things that I would like to talk about.

Despairing Jake

This is based off a drawing I did while bored in Pubic Speaking. It is also loosely based off of Jake Chambers from The Dark Tower. I will probably add the picture later. It is also a reflection of how horrible life after death sounds to me unless something very cool happens. I cannot fathom just stopping, so I imagine it would feel like laying with your eyes shut for eternity with nothing to do. I hope when I die I get to float around in the universe with everyone else that has ever died for eternity. I want to listen to stories and float through space, meeting dead aliens and the like, haha.

Insult

This one was sort of hard to post. I don't like talkign about my body-- at all. I hate every little thing about my body. This story pretty much summerizes my feelings and then explores the little bit of optimism at the end, so that I don't sound depressed or self loathful...

Clouds

Not sure how I feel about this one. It is an accurate description of how Justin and Gray view eachother, but at the same time it is a little unclear to some people that have read it, and that makes me sad. I want it to be really easy to understand. Justin is sober for the first time in a long time and day dreaming. Gray wakes him up and they walk, then Gray has a day dream. They both say their daydreams are about clouds and delicately tip-toe around eachother. Haha-- silly, but it fits my purposes.

Anywho. I think I may start something new now... please read those and give me feedback <3

I am in school again and it is eating me-- AGAIN. :/

Break's Over

So my spring break is over and other than a few shitty sketches, NOTHING got done. But I really needed the break so I don't feel too bad. Today I start new classes. Public Speaking is at 6. It's 5:18. I don't know what I have said or what i haven't said so forgive me if I reiterate. I finished my sculpture and also a few other silly projects that I may or may not post. I'll scan sketches tomorrow during my break and upload them. I don't think a single one is going on devART until it is 100%. Let's see... I have to finish Jonas and Cuthbert and then I will work on the new ones.

I am going to get sidetracked and talk about something else now. I'm sure that I have mentioned reading The Dark Tower by Stephen King-- well, it has eaten my life and is all I want to talk about. I am in LOVE with Roland, Cuthbert and Eddie. I would do ANYTHING for either of them... and that's a little scary. Never in my life have I been so in love with fictional characters... I mean, yes, I have loved characters... but these seem like real people. It makes me sad. Mr. King, you are a genius. I have a TON of Dark Tower fan art to post... even though one or two are spoilers... I will warn you when I post them.

I have gotten back into the role playing scene and for the past few nights have enjoyed the most amazing role plays I have had in a long time. I may type up short stories/chapters based on the role play's events and post it here or on devianART. I did post my script and a few other things on my writing gallery on deviantART and would enjoy if you took a gander. I have been thinking of writing a lot more lately. I'm trying to start a web-comic with my girlfriend and have been thinking of trying to write a novel. I just have to think of something cool before I take on these tasks.

I'll have stuff posted by the weekend, so plese keep a look out for stuff. :)

Music.

I have been listening to a lot of music lately that I haven't listened to in a long time and let me tell you something-- I LOVE PLASTIC TREE. For a long time I thought that I had grown out of them, but I still love them very much. Romu and Fiction are probably my favorites by them. I think my next sculpture is going to be based on their song Andrometamorphose.

Speaking of sculptures, I finally finished Justin. I hate him-- not to mention that he kind of broke. I'll post pictures of him and talk more about him later, but for right now, I don't feel like thinking about him.

I have also discovered my all-time favorite band-- LM.C! There is not a single song by them that I won't listen to/don't like. My favorite song is Boon!!-- and that's my favorite song, ever, not just by them. I don't know, but there is something about Boon!! that just makes me happy and cheers me up no matter what mood I'm in.

OH!! BIG NEWS!! CHROMATOSE, my website has finally been published. Go take a look-see.

Monday is my last day of class and then I don't have to go back until the 6th. Thank the gods. I really needed a break.

Buhh... I'm going to go listen to Boon!! and waste more time on the internet. I've been so lonely this week-- I've been the only one in the house. Everyone went home for spring break.

fuck.

Sometimes I see other people's art and read other people's stories and feel like I am just not good enough. It is a very common that I feel as though I am in the wrong profession and that the people around me outshine my work so much that I seem to be just emerging as an artist. The truth is that I have been doing this for over 10 years and although I do see improvement I have noticed a plateau, or even a decline of my creativity and artistic ability as of late. I was browsing through Bonhwa's gallery and it actually brought tears to my eyes... I am often moved by art but her art has me floored. It is some of the most beautiful artwork I have ever seen and every one of her works is gorgeous and moving. I just feel that I will never be able to achieve that greatness.

I know artists are their biggest critics and I know I seem very juvenile in the fact that this is the second post I have written in which I explore why art makes me sad. I know that I sound stupid. I just feel that the more I write about it the more I will be determined to fix my flaws and work toward that greatness.

almost done.

I've been making slow progress on my art, but I have done a lot of sketches and I am proud of a few of them. I completed some (very craptastic) character turnarounds for class. I am also working on designing a floor for a restaurant for a geometry project. I finished the bone for my sculpture class and took photos-- my teaches said that we should consider these for portfolio pieces but with the way he is turning out, I don't think that is going to happen. I'm already mostly done with his muscles, too. I've been working on Justin's story for writing, but when I went to do the story beats I became very discouraged. Oh well. Atleast this semester is almost over and I will be able to take a break for a while and get some real stuff done.

Anyway, the man to your right is Jonas... he's a royal guard and he will kick your fucking ass. I'm serious... although I hate the sword and it was omitted in the inking process which is not done yet. He's the one I mentioned in the earlier post that mentioned Final Fantasy XII. Although he is very much based on the style of FF12, he is not an FF12 character... I made him up. I even decided to justify his outfit so it isn't a riduculously silly Final Fantasy outfit. I am proud of him, although I do see some flaws. I mostly like his nose. I would love to cosplay him for my own enjoyment some day, maybe as a practice before I make Larsa. Both of these images are better viewed at full size, so please click on them. Especially the one on the right.

The next picture is of a man I have dubbed Jun. Jun is a very busy asian business man who works hard at the office for his family- a wife and a son. He works for a packaging plant an manages the invoices. He was mostly a pose and fabric text, but I think i failed in both of those aspects and only succeded in the hand department... which is still sub par... and now for my favorite picture I have done in a very long time, which is sadly unscanned.











HOLY CRAP, IT'S CUTHBERT!! So the Dark Tower serise by Stephen King is fucking cool and I love Cuthbert <3 He's my favorite!! If you haven't heard of these books, go read them! If you have heard of them and haven't read them-- you are a dork. Usually I don't like Stephen King and think that he is a loser, but these books are totally worth it! I'm happy I worked in a different style for this. It's mostly based on the comic books. I love this picture :)

moar progress.

I have actually made ART! I have found time recently to sit down and draw/color/refine/post. I entered a contest that Melly Black was hosting with a friend. I feel as though I wasted my efforts though... because I am not in LOVE with the picture and I didn't win. I stressed out over it, too. I also inked and uploaded a new picture of Justin to my deviantART as well as finishing my Illustrator homework which can be found under the title of "Significant" in my dA gallery. I have a ton of drawing to do for my classes over the next few days and I will be sure to post them either here or in my dA gallery. Be on the lookout.

I have also been hanging around with Sequential Fallout, my school's comic book club... sure they aren't the coolest kids, but they provide 2 hours of a quiet place to draw. They also are encouraging me to write strips for their newsletter-- those might happen.

I finished the basic skeleton for my sculpture project and pictures will be taken before I start on the muscular system. Those will be posted by the end of tonight.

Overall, I was VERY stressed last week but am doing better, mid-terms are this week so I shouldn't have much work to do-- no, studying isn't work, especially when you only have one class that you need to study for. GEOMETRY. Not bad. My writing teacher may give me something, but how hard could that be? And how could he after giving us the work load of doing 3 turnarounds and character profiles in 7 days?? DX

Anywho-- I know I have been a slacker to my fan-base, haha, yeah right, fanbase! But I have been increadably busy and as soon as the server comes back up I will register for next quarter and try to form a scedule that doesn't eat me alive. See you soon <3

experimentation.

So I've decided that my main goal for the next few weeks or so is to improve my artistic ability. I started with costume design. I was watching Ren play Final Fantasy XII and got inspired and actually designed something that I am proud of... I'll take my stuff to the scan lab tomorrow and get some stuff scanned so you can see. I think I am going to focus on character and object design because I am going to sign up for that class next semester and I don't want the teachers bitching at me for lack of artistic ability.

I'm happy I finally have an inking style that I like so I'd like to finalize other points of my artistic style. I think there is going to be a lull in my work load this week so I will actually get shit done. I am also going to try and get some pictures of Artemis up because I feel like I haven't done anything with him for a long time. For those of you who don't know, Artemis is my BJD (Ball Jointed Doll). He is from Angel of Dream and is a Chi model, mini size. Blah blah blah... work is coming soon.