fuck.

Sometimes I see other people's art and read other people's stories and feel like I am just not good enough. It is a very common that I feel as though I am in the wrong profession and that the people around me outshine my work so much that I seem to be just emerging as an artist. The truth is that I have been doing this for over 10 years and although I do see improvement I have noticed a plateau, or even a decline of my creativity and artistic ability as of late. I was browsing through Bonhwa's gallery and it actually brought tears to my eyes... I am often moved by art but her art has me floored. It is some of the most beautiful artwork I have ever seen and every one of her works is gorgeous and moving. I just feel that I will never be able to achieve that greatness.

I know artists are their biggest critics and I know I seem very juvenile in the fact that this is the second post I have written in which I explore why art makes me sad. I know that I sound stupid. I just feel that the more I write about it the more I will be determined to fix my flaws and work toward that greatness.

almost done.

I've been making slow progress on my art, but I have done a lot of sketches and I am proud of a few of them. I completed some (very craptastic) character turnarounds for class. I am also working on designing a floor for a restaurant for a geometry project. I finished the bone for my sculpture class and took photos-- my teaches said that we should consider these for portfolio pieces but with the way he is turning out, I don't think that is going to happen. I'm already mostly done with his muscles, too. I've been working on Justin's story for writing, but when I went to do the story beats I became very discouraged. Oh well. Atleast this semester is almost over and I will be able to take a break for a while and get some real stuff done.

Anyway, the man to your right is Jonas... he's a royal guard and he will kick your fucking ass. I'm serious... although I hate the sword and it was omitted in the inking process which is not done yet. He's the one I mentioned in the earlier post that mentioned Final Fantasy XII. Although he is very much based on the style of FF12, he is not an FF12 character... I made him up. I even decided to justify his outfit so it isn't a riduculously silly Final Fantasy outfit. I am proud of him, although I do see some flaws. I mostly like his nose. I would love to cosplay him for my own enjoyment some day, maybe as a practice before I make Larsa. Both of these images are better viewed at full size, so please click on them. Especially the one on the right.

The next picture is of a man I have dubbed Jun. Jun is a very busy asian business man who works hard at the office for his family- a wife and a son. He works for a packaging plant an manages the invoices. He was mostly a pose and fabric text, but I think i failed in both of those aspects and only succeded in the hand department... which is still sub par... and now for my favorite picture I have done in a very long time, which is sadly unscanned.











HOLY CRAP, IT'S CUTHBERT!! So the Dark Tower serise by Stephen King is fucking cool and I love Cuthbert <3 He's my favorite!! If you haven't heard of these books, go read them! If you have heard of them and haven't read them-- you are a dork. Usually I don't like Stephen King and think that he is a loser, but these books are totally worth it! I'm happy I worked in a different style for this. It's mostly based on the comic books. I love this picture :)

moar progress.

I have actually made ART! I have found time recently to sit down and draw/color/refine/post. I entered a contest that Melly Black was hosting with a friend. I feel as though I wasted my efforts though... because I am not in LOVE with the picture and I didn't win. I stressed out over it, too. I also inked and uploaded a new picture of Justin to my deviantART as well as finishing my Illustrator homework which can be found under the title of "Significant" in my dA gallery. I have a ton of drawing to do for my classes over the next few days and I will be sure to post them either here or in my dA gallery. Be on the lookout.

I have also been hanging around with Sequential Fallout, my school's comic book club... sure they aren't the coolest kids, but they provide 2 hours of a quiet place to draw. They also are encouraging me to write strips for their newsletter-- those might happen.

I finished the basic skeleton for my sculpture project and pictures will be taken before I start on the muscular system. Those will be posted by the end of tonight.

Overall, I was VERY stressed last week but am doing better, mid-terms are this week so I shouldn't have much work to do-- no, studying isn't work, especially when you only have one class that you need to study for. GEOMETRY. Not bad. My writing teacher may give me something, but how hard could that be? And how could he after giving us the work load of doing 3 turnarounds and character profiles in 7 days?? DX

Anywho-- I know I have been a slacker to my fan-base, haha, yeah right, fanbase! But I have been increadably busy and as soon as the server comes back up I will register for next quarter and try to form a scedule that doesn't eat me alive. See you soon <3

experimentation.

So I've decided that my main goal for the next few weeks or so is to improve my artistic ability. I started with costume design. I was watching Ren play Final Fantasy XII and got inspired and actually designed something that I am proud of... I'll take my stuff to the scan lab tomorrow and get some stuff scanned so you can see. I think I am going to focus on character and object design because I am going to sign up for that class next semester and I don't want the teachers bitching at me for lack of artistic ability.

I'm happy I finally have an inking style that I like so I'd like to finalize other points of my artistic style. I think there is going to be a lull in my work load this week so I will actually get shit done. I am also going to try and get some pictures of Artemis up because I feel like I haven't done anything with him for a long time. For those of you who don't know, Artemis is my BJD (Ball Jointed Doll). He is from Angel of Dream and is a Chi model, mini size. Blah blah blah... work is coming soon.